wo-nderland: groovymuttations: what if someone was attractive but not attractive enough to be called hot can I call them toasty im calling people toasty from now on ok
callieohpeee: when i was around 5 i asked my mom why “some people were different colors” and she said “because god wanted lots of flavors” and let me tell you that was the wrong thing to say because for the next 3 years i thought god ate people when they died
squareclocks: kushroom: so you’re saying I can win 5 iphones every day??? and all I have to do is give my credit card number on this website I’ve never heard about??? well slam me in my tender butthole sir you’ve just got yourself a deal Slam me in my tender butthole I think I’ve just found my new favorite phrase.
psychoticmist: if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
danieldempsey: My dude straight loving him some nsync.
Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
Friends: Don't forget to socialize
Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
Society: Don't forget to be perfect
Tumblr: Fuck the world, they're peasants. At least you haven't murdered somebody today
Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
mutilatedmemories: I will never understand girls who throw their bras at guys on stage those things are fucking expensive and he has no use for it like what do you want him to do pass it down to his first born daughter
janersm: sexting-inchurch: beautilation: banasmagiccastle: sarcasminc: arigoato: funny text posts arent my Puns like that could get you in give it a Yeah I think the joke might be falling This would probably be a lot funnier if I could read sheet music It’s no one else’s fault that you aren’t that
nerdache-cakes: All of you are wrong. The J in GIF is silent. Like in José. Hif.
emilaugh: ivegottobethere: ima-ho-ho-ho: rneerkat: snapfox: rneerkat: rneerkat: what happens to nitrogen when the sun rises it becomes daytrogen I’m going to bed. good nitrogen sleep tightrogen don’t let the bed bugs bitrogen stop this at oncetrogen
thesamanthalynn: svviffer: girlhearted: svviffer: why cant our skin be transparent cuz thats fuckin gross but imagine how cool it would be to see your heart do the thing “do the thing”
laughingstation: Isn’t it weird how God killed 2.4 million people in the bible and Satan killed 10
msjewbooty: [first date voice] so tell me about your weather hobbies. fuck i mean, tell me the weather. no that’s not what i meant i was trying to say what are your hobbies. wonderful weather we’re hobbing. having. fuck
little-uno: thatstoomainstream: It’s weird how in animals seeing ribs/collar&hip bones is considered sick or even abusive, but in people that’s considered beautiful. This may have just changed my life.
pallidbirth: jumping out of helicopters is dangerous you know they say 1 in 5 people dont even make it to the ground what do you mean they dont make it to the ground where do they go
meano-cappuccino: have you ever thought about erasers. like how the fuck do they do the thing
trixter-jake-english: chilledchaoswannabe: ...
We all have that friend who we can't be serious...
I spent 5000 years laughing at this guy's...
help me I can’t stop laughing
bigstupidbaby: i like australia because we call things what they are. like what the fuck is a dime? its ten cents. a quarter? do you mean 25 cents we aint doing fractions here we are trying to buy some shit